When leaders start freezing out team members, disengagement and distrust inevitably follow
Writing: Selena Rezvani
In the wake of the pandemic, we started to hear a lot about quiet quitting – employees pulling back without saying a word. But what happens when the silence starts with the boss? That’s quiet firing.
Quiet firing is not loud or obvious. There are no pink slips of termination, and no confrontation – just a slow freeze-out that has employees second-guessing themselves, and leaves teams quietly falling apart. The name might suggest this phenomenon is mild, but it can be devastating to workplace culture. In some cases, managers may not realize the harm they’re causing. Yet its effects ripple through teams: lowering morale, eroding trust and downgrading productivity.
What is quiet firing and where does it come from?
Quiet firing is when managers’ actions push an employee out – slowly, subtly and systematically. They might leave an employee off invites, limit feedback, reduce their responsibilities, or ignore performance reviews and check-ins. The outcome is not always overt termination but gradual disengagement.
As an executive coach, I see this phenomenon more often in workplaces where indirect communication is the norm and difficult conversations are avoided. Leaders who struggle to articulate expectations or confront underperformance may be experiencing the same behaviors from their own manager, reinforcing a culture of, “We don’t talk about that here.” The result? Employees are left guessing where they stand, doubting themselves and feeling invisible.
Quiet firing isn’t always malicious. Sometimes it’s a misguided attempt to sidestep conflict – to defer awkward pay or promotion discussions, or avoid admitting there’s a fit issue with an employee. Yet regardless of intent, the outcome is the same: disengagement and distrust.
The signs of quiet firing
How can you recognize if quiet firing is happening to you? Early detection certainly helps, and knowing the warning signs can help you protect your role, influence and advancement prospects. There are several typical indicators.
- Exclusion from critical conversations You suddenly find yourself left out of team meetings, project updates or strategic discussions that you once attended regularly. Decisions that affect your work are happening without your input.
- Reduced visibility High-profile projects, leadership opportunities, or ownership of important initiatives are reassigned, downgraded, or vanish. Your contributions no longer have the same exposure; your accomplishments go unnoticed.
- Ignored feedback loops Check-ins, performance reviews or mentorship sessions are canceled, deprioritized or handled superficially. When feedback is given, it’s vague and infrequent. The lack of actionable guidance leaves you uncertain about expectations.
- Micro-ostracism Subtle but telling gestures, like being left off key email threads, excluded from team celebrations, or overlooked in social interactions, signal that your presence and voice are no longer valued. These small acts accumulate, quietly diminishing your influence and morale.
These patterns are clear hazard signs – though not necessarily a verdict on your value or future at the organization. Even if there’s a pervasive habit in your workplace of tolerating indirect communication or tiptoeing around difficult conversations, ignoring these warnings can allow disengagement to calcify. That not only undermines employee’s career prospects, but the broader team’s sense of cohesion and confidence, undermining the idea that, “We handle things head-on around here.”
Why quiet firing is a culture killer
Quiet firing damages organizations at multiple levels. On the surface, it often achieves its mission to detach the employee from their day-to-day work: an increasingly disengaged employee will stop contributing, usually taking the hint they’re not welcome. Over time, the effects are more profound.
Erosion of trust Employees feel unsafe and uncertain, questioning if they have a clear read on where they stand in terms of performance. Trust in the organization is compromised.
Talent loss High performers thrive on direct communication. If they need to continually navigate ambiguous signals, they’ll launch a stealth job search of their own. The company suffers attrition of its most capable employees.
Lower morale and collaboration Teams become fragmented as colleagues sense inequities. The flames of favoritism, and a sense that there are insiders and outsiders, are fanned, as employees are left to guess about the rationale behind decisions.
Stagnation of growth Avoiding hard conversations prevents both individual and organizational development. Employees are neither coached nor empowered to improve; they’re more likely to be functioning in survival mode.
Leaders who rely on quiet firing may believe they’re avoiding conflict, but the reality is they’re undercutting the very culture and performance they aim to sustain.
What to do if you’re facing quiet firing
While quiet firing is disheartening, it’s possible to take concrete steps before it spirals into a full-blown career setback.
The first step is documentation. Keep a clear, detailed record of instances where you’ve been left out of meetings, overlooked for projects, or excluded from performance discussions. Note dates, timestamps, emails, and even informal interactions. This log will serve as evidence, allowing you to reference specific examples rather than relying on vague impressions when speaking with your manager. It also helps you to see patterns and recognize when behaviors cross the line from occasional oversight to targeted exclusion.
Next, force the conversation. A candid but respectful approach is critical. You might say, “I’d like to get some clarity on my role. I’ve noticed I’ve been left off several recent projects, and I’d like your feedback on where you see me fitting into the team’s future.” This approach accomplishes several goals: it names behaviors that have been hidden, demonstrates that you’re engaged and committed, and invites dialogue rather than escalating conflict.
If passive-aggressive behavior persists despite your efforts, it’s time to prioritize your own career trajectory. Initiating a discreet job search isn’t a sign of failure. It’s taking ownership of your future. Employees must recognize that they cannot rely solely on a manager who avoids direct conversations to dictate their career.
By documenting patterns, starting candid conversations, and preparing to take the next steps, you both reclaim control and demonstrate professional resilience.
Additionally, lean on trusted mentors or peers for guidance. Allies can provide perspective, reinforce your observations, and support next steps. Your career is ultimately yours to protect, and acting decisively is a mark of strength, not defeat. Speaking up and planning proactively is the way to safeguard your growth and value.
What leaders can do instead
Responsibility for putting a stop to the harm done by quiet firing falls to leaders. The antidote is not micromanagement or superficial check-ins; it’s having direct, trust-building conversations. Leaders need to embrace transparency and accountability to foster engagement. Follow these three strategies.
1. Communicate candidly, consistently and clearly
Avoid ambiguous messages, indirect hints and passive-aggressive behaviors. Direct communication signals respect, reduces anxiety and empowers employees to act decisively. Managers should name the issue openly and with care. Try opening with phrases like, “I want to be direct with you about something I’ve noticed,” “Here’s what’s working well, and here’s where I see room for improvement,” and, “To make sure we’re on the same page, here’s what I need from you going forward.”
Naming issues doesn’t have to be confrontational. It can be framed as real-time problem-solving, together.
2. Build structured, recurring feedback loops
Regular one-on-ones, mentorship check-ins, and performance reviews are the scaffolding of clear, ongoing communication. Make these sessions meaningful, two-way and forward-looking. They should be treated as sacred, with managers going out of their way to fully show up. Solicit employee feedback on leadership, projects and team dynamics. Celebrate wins, even little ones, and regroup about what went wrong with mistakes. Normalize the idea that failure and learning are requirements for innovation.
Try asking, “Where do you feel most energized in your work – and where are you getting stuck?”, and, “What’s one thing I could do differently as your manager to help you succeed right now?”
3. Share power intentionally
Avoid micromanagement by clarifying roles and authority, and delegating with accountability. Creating opportunities for ownership and visibility – like actively involving employees in high-impact projects and committees, and even having them lead meetings – can strengthen your team and spread the influence. Giving employees visibility and authority communicates trust and reinforces value, and ensures credit is attributed fairly.
Try saying, “You’ve got the lead on this one – what support or resources do you need from me?” and, “This project is a great platform for you to show your leadership/analysis skills/strategic thinking. How would you like to approach it?”
When leaders embody these transparent behaviors, disengaged employees are more likely to feel heard, supported and empowered to contribute meaningfully. They’re also likelier to share information, resources and feedback with others.
A cultural reset starts at the top
Many leaders that I meet mistake culture for their best-made plans. But it’s much more than that. Culture is what you abide and tolerate. It’s the behavior, values and standards that you allow to happen without challenge. And when negative behaviors or norms go unchecked, they become the unspoken rules of the workplace.
In so many workplaces, quiet firing is a symptom of the larger cultural issue of avoidance. By deferring difficult conversations, ignoring performance gaps, or ‘kicking the can’ on coaching, misunderstandings and disillusionment are practically guaranteed. The solution isn’t about punitive measures or instant termination. It’s about establishing management norms that prioritize clarity, feedback, trust, and fairness – and then measuring people’s perceptions of those drivers over time to gauge improvement.
Teams don’t have to fall victim to quiet firing
Quiet firing isn’t inevitable, even if it’s the cultural norm where you work. It’s a choice that leaders make, day by day, interaction by interaction. By embracing transparency, communicating in simple language and sharing power, managers can reverse disengagement. They can build teams that thrive. For employees, recognizing the signs early, documenting experiences and initiating candid conversations are critical steps in protecting career trajectories.
Ultimately, the solution to quiet firing is a culture where honesty, clarity and human-centered leadership are the norm. Work should energize, challenge and inspire – not erode confidence and trust. Leaders who commit to this philosophy not only prevent the hidden costs of quiet firing, but also cultivate teams that are more innovative and invested in their work.
When we treat others as capable grownups, worthy of being spoken to directly and able to handle even the most uncomfortable conversations, respect blooms. Trust deepens. Teams thrive.
When managers lead with candor and care, everyone wins.
Selena Rezvani is a speaker, coach, and the author of Quick Leadership: Build Trust, Navigate Change, and Cultivate Unstoppable Teams (Wiley)
